We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
