This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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