I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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