We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
