turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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