dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
dude. I can hear the air.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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