i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
