this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize