He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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