We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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