I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
