I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
