I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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