but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
