TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I have post one night stand depression
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