Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
