You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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