Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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