Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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