Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
