In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
