He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
