stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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