Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
