I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
