dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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