i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I need water and some morals
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