I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
