My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
