oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
