Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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