You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
