Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize