where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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