guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
