Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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