My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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