i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
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Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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