I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
