look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
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I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
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Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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