It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
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His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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