so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
