Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
