I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
