She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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