fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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