Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
