My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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