I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
