even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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