You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize