Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
