Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize