You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
