is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There are leaves in my underwear?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
