I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
