Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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