How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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