and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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