you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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