Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
