is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
