It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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